If I asked you today “How do you see yourself?”, how do you think you would respond? Often times, when I sit down with women, I find they struggle to see themselves in an overall positive light. In fact, most of the time they list a host of negatives. Too fat, too thin, their not good enough as a parent, they need to go to church more, and the list goes on. Rarely, is the first thing out of their mouth something good they see in themselves.
What has led us to this level of self perception? For many, it’s the willingness to believe what others say to us, or how we perceive people see us. I remember back when I was little, and my grandmother would say, “You would be so much prettier if you lost some weight.” First of all, I love my grandmother, by far my favorite person. I don’t believe she meant harm. In fact, I know she always wanted what was best for me. But, I carried that thought throughout a large portion of my life. I would look in the mirror and repeat those words to myself.
Those words made it difficult to see myself differently, and to see myself the way others saw me. When I met Keith, he would daily (and still does) tell me how beautiful I was. He knew I didn’t see it, and he worked hard to help me to see myself through his eyes. Today, it’s different. I have taken the last couple of years to see myself for the good I am, and not the bad. I had to take lots of time, and journal a lot, to truly see how I saw myself, so I could change the perception I had deep inside of me.
Understanding Your Self-Perception
Understanding your self-perception is key to self-awareness and personal growth. It involves reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to gain a clearer understanding of who you are and how you see yourself in the world. By understanding your self-perception, you can work towards building a positive self-image and cultivating a more fulfilling life.
Key Questions to Ask Yourself
To gain a deeper understanding of your self-perception, consider these questions:
- What are my strengths and weaknesses?
- How do I see myself physically?
- How do I see myself intellectually?
- What are my values and beliefs?
- How do I see myself emotionally?
- What are my goals and aspirations?
- How do I see myself socially?
How Does Poor Self Perception Affect Us
Poor self-perception can have a significant impact on various aspects of our lives. It can lead to low self-esteem, hindering our ability to form healthy relationships, make confident decisions, and pursue our goals. Negative self-perception can also manifest in self-sabotaging behaviors, anxiety, depression, and even physical health problems. It’s crucial to recognize the negative impact of poor self-perception and take steps to improve it.
- Low Self-Esteem: Negative self-perception can lead to low self-esteem, making it difficult to feel good about oneself.
- Self-Doubt: Poor self-perception can breed self-doubt, hindering personal growth and decision-making.
- Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk can become a constant companion, leading to feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.
- Fear of Failure: A negative self-perception can lead to fear of failure, preventing individuals from taking risks and pursuing their goals.
- Difficulty in Relationships: Poor self-perception can impact relationships with others, as it can lead to feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and resentment.
- Lack of Self-Compassion: Individuals with poor self-perception may struggle to show themselves the same kindness and understanding they would show others.
Improving Your Self-Perception
Improving your self-perception is a journey that requires patience and self-compassion. By practicing self-awareness, challenging negative thoughts, and celebrating your accomplishments, you can cultivate a more positive and empowering self-image. Remember, you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. Here are some steps you can start today that will help you start the journey.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, and avoid self-criticism. Show yourself some grace when you make a mistake.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Identify and challenge negative thoughts that may be hindering your self-esteem. I used sticky notes to challenge my negative thoughts…..ask me how!
- Set Realistic Goals: Set achievable goals and celebrate your accomplishments. Check out our post on goal setting here!
- Focus on Your Strengths: Highlight your strengths and build on them. Make a list and continue to add to it the great things about you. Post it by your bed on on your bathroom mirror so you don’t forget.
- Surround Yourself with Positive People: Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Negative conversation can drain you so it’s important to surround yourself with positivity. You need a person? Reach out to me anytime.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings.
- Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling with negative self-perception, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor. I sought counseling for many years, and it made a world of difference for my mental health.
Where Do We Go From Here
My goal for each one of you is to see yourself for the amazing person you are. You have good in you….you just need to find it, and put it at the forefront of your thoughts. Remember, self-perception is a journey, not a destination. By taking the time to reflect on your self-image and practicing self-compassion, you can cultivate a more positive and empowering self-perception.
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