The Things We Share
Every day, we scroll through Facebook. Facebook has become an integral part of our lives, connecting us with friends, family, and the world around us. While it’s a platform for sharing joy, laughter, and important moments, it’s crucial to be mindful of the content we share. In this digital age, a careless post can have far-reaching consequences. Let’s explore how to navigate Facebook responsibly.
I came across this “share” several times over the last several weeks. It’s one of many examples of posts that have an impact, but not always the way we intended. The first time I read it, I thought it sounded great, but something did not sit well with me. I wasn’t sure how to put it into words, but I just knew something didn’t feel right. I saw it several more times shared. Take a moment to read it, and then I will give you my take on the whole thing.
For Couples So Eager to Call it Quits….
“For couples so eager to call it quits and throw in the towel on your relationships because everything isn’t “perfect”… here is some food for thought. Lifelong commitment is not what most people think it is. It’s not waking up every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It’s not cuddling in bed until both of you fall asleep, peacefully, at night. And, it’s not a clean home filled with laughter and lovemaking, everyday.
But, it is someone who steals all the covers (and snores!). It’s slammed doors and a few harsh words, at times. It’s stubbornly disagreeing and giving each other the silent treatment until your hearts heal…and, then…FORGIVENESS!
It’s coming home to the same person, everyday, that you know LOVES and CARES about you in spite of (and because of) who you are. It’s laughing about the one time you accidentally did something stupid. And, it’s about dirty laundry and unmade beds WITHOUT finger pointing. It’s about helping each other with the hard work of life!
It is swallowing the nagging words instead of saying them out loud. It’s about eating the cheapest and easiest meal you can make and sitting down together at a late hour to eat because you both had a crazy day. When you have an emotional breakdown and your Love lays with you and holds you and tells you everything is going to be okay…and you BELIEVE them.
It’s about still loving someone even though, sometimes, they make you absolutely insane. Loving someone is not easy….sometimes it’s extremely hard; but it’s amazing and comforting and one of the BEST things you’ll ever experience!”
So Who Wouldn’t Need to Hear Those Words?
So let me say that I understand that this is Facebook (or some other form of social media), and I am not a social media crazy person offended by everything out there. But understand there are many out there that take to heart much of what you share. They are looking for that inspiration and sometimes the only place they get it is through the time they spend on their phone or computer. Whether that should be happening is an entirely different post.
So to answer the above question of “Who wouldn’t need to hear those words?” Let me give you some examples.
The wife who has planned every dinner, washed every load of laundry, paid all the bills, raising the kids, and she still tries to reach out to her husband. She didn’t complain about the little stuff. She reaches and he continues to walk away.
The husband who works hard, tries to be present whenever he can be home, does small things for his wife and children because that’s what they can afford. Yet his wife is still not happy with their life and what he has to offer in this season of life.
Over time, these relationships become distant and disconnected. The relationship ends, and they just exist in the same space. I think these are more real life examples of why someone walks away. Fewer people walk away because of the simply “imperfect life” that is described in this post. I believe more leave because there has been years of trying and the connection becomes irreparable. I believe that most couples can withstand the above imperfections, but the ongoing disconnect is what ends the relationship.
What does it say?
The above post to me, though well meaning, minimizes the reason that most people walk away. It does not mean those that are divorced expected too much or didn’t try hard enough. It implies that had they done those simple things or not worried about the others that all would have been ok. Being divorced is not what most of them ever imagined would happen to them. I believe they all started out wanting that lifelong dream.
Not all of us were that lucky, and it doesn’t mean we did not try hard enough, or give enough to make it work. That doesn’t mean our expectations were too high. Often, despite our best efforts, the relationship could not be repaired. We wanted the same as you….it just happens that it didn’t work out that way.
This is only one example of things shared on Facebook (or other social media), but there are lots of things out there that we should think twice about before we share them. We may hurt those we care most about without ever realizing it.
Additionally, let’s explore how to navigate social media responsibly.
Understand the Impact of Your Posts
- Reputation: Everything you share online contributes to your digital footprint. Be aware of how your posts might be perceived by others, including potential employers or future acquaintances.
- Privacy Settings: Review your Facebook privacy settings regularly. Understand who can see your posts, photos, and personal information.
- Sensitive Information: Avoid sharing highly personal details, such as financial information, addresses, or passwords. This information can be misused by scammers or hackers.
Be Mindful of Others
- Fact-Checking: Before sharing news or information, verify its accuracy from reputable sources. Misinformation spreads rapidly online, and you don’t want to contribute to the problem.
- Respectful Sharing: Consider how your posts might affect others. Avoid sharing content that is offensive, hateful, or discriminatory.
- Tagging Carefully: Think twice before tagging friends in photos or posts without their consent. Respect their privacy and boundaries.
Protecting Yourself and Your Loved Ones
- Strong Passwords: Create complex passwords for your Facebook account and consider enabling two-factor authentication.
- Limited Sharing: Be cautious about sharing too much personal information about yourself or your family.
- Beware of Scams: Be wary of suspicious links, requests for personal information, and phishing attempts.
Building a Positive Online Presence
- Positive Content: Focus on sharing uplifting and inspiring content.
- Engaging with Others: Interact with your friends and followers through comments and likes.
- Online Etiquette: Practice good online manners, and treat others with respect.
I spent weeks thinking long and hard about whether I was going to write about this, and I decided I felt it was important for many reasons. I ask that you be careful what you post. Be careful that it doesn’t tell others they are “less than” because their marriages didn’t work out, relationships are strained, or they should be better because somehow life is easy. Know that the post you just shared may be heartbreaking, because they already wonder if they tried hard enough. You may be well meaning, but things are not always so simple.
Yes, I have no doubt that for a small few this post was perfect, and they needed to hear they needed to be more patient, and forgiving. Just remember, that for what I believe is the larger percentage, this post stings and can hurt. So take a moment, check yourself, and think about whether this “share” on whatever social media platform, is worth how it might make someone else feel. In the end I have faith we all want to uplift and support one another in the healthiest of ways without judgement.
Be sure to check out our post on Kindness.
